Taking Time: a Writer’s Introspection

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 I’ll figure out what to do with this blog one day. 

I know I’ve gotta post regular content, and I know it’s gotta be interesting, but I guess maybe I’m not that interesting? I don’t know. I don’t have any strong opinions I want to share with the world or won’t feel like I’m just contributing noise. I can’t really review things as I haven’t been consuming a lot. I feel like one of the only things I can actively do to help my writing career other than actually write novels, is maintain a blog but what’s the point if it’s not informative or funny or just attention grabbing? I am not used to having to do anything to grab attention (and that’s not vanity. When a six foot woman is out walking around, people look. The attention isn’t also positive.) I’m not sure how to do it now.

Maybe I’m just too milquetoast for all this. Maybe this was doomed from the start. Maybe… Maybe I already knew that from the start. But I had an idea fling in the it would be this way. But I thought if I tried, it would work. People liked my work. People I didn’t know, who didn’t owe me niceties. But that was before money was involved. Even when they weren’t asked for money, there was something standing in the way of them giving me that little bit of time. Like now that the was a price point involved, even if it didn’t involve them, they had to reevaluate. I don’t know if that’s what happened for sure. It just certainly feels that way.

There are probably things I could have done differently, but not a whole lot that didn’t require a lot of money. Rather than try to campaign for money for short term endeavors, I tried to build buzz, to do all the things they say you’re supposed to. But what they don’t say is that none of these things work if you don’t have money.

I’m gonna keep this blog and this site. I’m gonna keep writing, whether or not it’s the right thing to do right now. And maybe some day I’ll figure out what  to do with this blog.

EDIT: I know gripping isn’t a classy move, but it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to