SA McNeill

State of the Union Address

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I logged in today for the first time in a while and saw that the last time I made an update to this blog was March. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if that was this past March  or March ’16, but my response was still the same.

Damn

I haven’t posted much here in general, mostly because I don’t know what to say, but I haven’t been idling. Doing so, especially in the world we’re living in now would only drive me nuts. So in the interest of posting something instead of walking on by, I thought I’d leave a brief list of things I’ve been up to. 

  • Working on a new book in a new genre under a new name that I hope to have out soon. 
  • Outlining the Noxus sequel that I’ll start working on when I’m finished with the above book
  • Playing video games
  • streaming video games which is surprisingly as stressful as having another full time job. This has been updated on my facebook page, though I’m not sure I’ll keep it there.
  • freelancing when I can get it
  • playing with cats
  • exploring when my body allows for it

There admittedly isn’t a lot here, but I thought those were the most interesting events of my life right now (and the least depressing). 

So there you have it. I’m not dead yet. Just busy-ish. 

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Taking Time: a Writer’s Introspection

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 I’ll figure out what to do with this blog one day. 

I know I’ve gotta post regular content, and I know it’s gotta be interesting, but I guess maybe I’m not that interesting? I don’t know. I don’t have any strong opinions I want to share with the world or won’t feel like I’m just contributing noise. I can’t really review things as I haven’t been consuming a lot. I feel like one of the only things I can actively do to help my writing career other than actually write novels, is maintain a blog but what’s the point if it’s not informative or funny or just attention grabbing? I am not used to having to do anything to grab attention (and that’s not vanity. When a six foot woman is out walking around, people look. The attention isn’t also positive.) I’m not sure how to do it now.

Maybe I’m just too milquetoast for all this. Maybe this was doomed from the start. Maybe… Maybe I already knew that from the start. But I had an idea fling in the it would be this way. But I thought if I tried, it would work. People liked my work. People I didn’t know, who didn’t owe me niceties. But that was before money was involved. Even when they weren’t asked for money, there was something standing in the way of them giving me that little bit of time. Like now that the was a price point involved, even if it didn’t involve them, they had to reevaluate. I don’t know if that’s what happened for sure. It just certainly feels that way.

There are probably things I could have done differently, but not a whole lot that didn’t require a lot of money. Rather than try to campaign for money for short term endeavors, I tried to build buzz, to do all the things they say you’re supposed to. But what they don’t say is that none of these things work if you don’t have money.

I’m gonna keep this blog and this site. I’m gonna keep writing, whether or not it’s the right thing to do right now. And maybe some day I’ll figure out what  to do with this blog.

EDIT: I know gripping isn’t a classy move, but it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to

Dealing with Criticism

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I’ve talked about criticism before on this blog. I don’t know if it comes across, but I’m not opposed to it. It’s a crucial tool whenever you’re developing a skill of any kind. It’s necessary as people kissing your butt all the time won’t help you improve. To get better, you need to seek it out.

With that in mind, around the time the hard copies of my book came out, I sent links to my book everywhere I could think of, trying to get feedback (and I’m still looking for feedback, so if you’ve got any, lay it on me.) After about a month, I got something back from this sketch site that I’m not going to name here. This site promised a sort of “standby review” that you can link to your site, sort of like what I have in the what people have been saying section of the Noxus site. It was quite the experience, to say the least.

These comments were made by a self-described older man who apparently didn’t have much to say. He didn’t like my writing; he didn’t like my ideas, and probably wouldn’t have read Rendezvous on Noxus if he’d had a choice.   (more…)

Pondering the Podcast

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A while back I mentioned I wanted to create a podcast for a variety of reasons. Creating podcasts seems to be the #1 advise being given to Indie writers right now, and this information’s carelessly oversimplified. It’s true that anyone can make one, just like anyone can make a Youtube video. But it takes more than just a microphone and a camera to make a good, memorable version of either.

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…But how are you?

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It’s been a while since the last post. Life’s been trudging along pretty uneventfully. Somethings moved along, something were stymied as life tends to do.

I usually post things here that I feel will get hits, that should be on topic, about the books, about writing (I’m doing Nanowrimo btw. I didn’t finish last year, but hopefully I’ll make it this year) but all of that feels so… out of my depth? To be honest, as far as writing, I’m just doing what I can, writing what feels good to write. I don’t really have a lot in the ways of method. I’m more intuitive.

But enough about me, how are you? Anyone reading this, I want to know how you are. You can say as much or as little as you want. I just want to hear. I just want to know someone’s reading this.

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What’s in a number?

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This post, like most of the others was written completely off the cuff, so please excuse me if it gets a little rambling in places. 

What is success?

Is it truly subjective or is there one unified definition? I feel people will say the definition is subjective, and I believe that’s how it should be, yet most people still hold themselves to a higher, often unattainable standard. Not everyone is going to be a millionaire mogul or is even capable of dragging themselves out of debt before they die, not everyone finishes college, has kids, gets married. Not everyone even wants these things. But does that mean they’ve failed some how?

Success is the accomplishment of a goal, one that should be your own, not a standard to hold yourself up to that doesn’t even truly reflect your wants and needs. For me, success would be me publishing. To write out the stories I have in my head, share them and see what comes. Making money would be ideal, but that’s not how I would define it. I’d like to have my own clean, quiet space and a dog and I would consider that successful. That’s all I need to be happy. For other people, they’re dreams are more illustrious and are difficult to come by. But that leads me to my next question.

Does success have a time limit?

Is there an actual peak? If you don’t have kids or or get married or reach a certain level at your job by the time you’re 30, does that make you a failure? If this is the thing you want, more than anything, if you haven’t achieved it by the time you pass a certain date, does that mean you should give up on it? Or should you reevaluate your goals and your idea of success?

Why does everything have a time limit? Why are things dictated by age? Things are supposed to stop and start after a certain time? I don’t think there’s a solid answer to any of this… It’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

 

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Still not quite sure…

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I want to be more active with this blog, however, I’m still not sure what I should say yet.

I’ve been looking around at other people’s blog, and a lot of them seem like they just talk about the mundane, what they did over the holiday weekend, like they’re chatting with friends. That seems like it works for them, but I don’t want to bore readers with my own life, so I’ve been refraining. I thought this might be a better place for production updates, but as of yet, that ball’s been rolling rather slow.

But, there’s hope! I’ve gotten some concept art for my cover recently, featuring the three main character of the story. I’ll be posting that here just as soon as I check a few things over, so hopefully, that’ll solve my problems for a bit. Here’s hoping.

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